A Girl and her Failure to Die
by Moron 1 and Moron 2
Summary: You may think this is just another random girl goes into Naruto world and tries to change it for the better without randomly glomping people, but It isn't. In this one I'll still change the Naruto world, but I'll glomp random people as well. Just read it! R&R! UPDATE: This story will rarely be updated if ever. Sorry.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Epilogue**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story except the plot. If I owned Naruto, it wouldn't be a popular anime because I can't draw to save my life. Good for me.**

**Warning: I'm going by what I've read in the manga, so if I miss important parts in the anime, this is your warning.**

Before I start this story, I should tell you that I epically fail at dying. I can't remember my younger years, but since ,at most, my 8th year of age, I have nearly died once a year. Got pushed underwater, nearly choked on my own phlem, I could go on and on. I always survived though, and so the story starts.

I was ambling my way down the street, not paying much attention to the road, and it seemed I wasn't the only one not paying attention. That was proved when a car ran straight through the red light and hit me. I didn't pay much attention to what happened next, I mean how could I? A car just hit me! Deep down in my subconscious, I kind of thought I would live. Or at least be in a coma for a couple of years before awakening. But I did. Die, that is. Well, at least I think I died.

The part of me that did think I was going to die, expected the pain, and everything else, to just stop. I never believed in white lights and all that other shit.

But what I most certainly didn't expect, was to wake up, screaming and crying in someone's arms. Not the romantic lover kind, the kind of way a mother holds her baby. Like, support the head, cradle it with bath arms kinda thing. The woman above me, most likely the one holding me was a pretty woman with dark hair, pale skin, and pupil less white-lavender eyes. '_Hyuuga_' I immediately thought, then mentally frowned. There was no way this woman could be a Hyuuga.

"Hiashi!" She called. She said some things to him I couldn't understand, but all I could think at this point was '_Holy crap on a cracker. Crap, crap, __crap, __crap, __crap...' _and that basically sums it all up.

"Hinata," She murmured, "Hinata, Kaa-san, Tou-san." She pointed at me, herself and Hiashi.

I had always dreamed about what I would change if I wad in the Naruto world, but this is just... NARG! I can't be Hinata! Why couldn't I be Sakura, who has less problems in her life, civilian parents, and a lot more influence in the story?! Wait a sec... influence in the story? If I can surpass Sakura, I'd get on Naruto's team!

Luckily for me, Hyuuga kids come prepared. Well, actually only if you ask for extra training and studying materials. The only way I wasn't considered a prodigy was because I knew shit in Japanese. Well I actually do know how to say shit, but that's different than actually learning a different language. I was just lucky I had started learning Japanese in middle school. Another helpful thing for learning was my ability to sneak around unnoticed. Even though they were ninja, I only snuck around when they were sleeping or otherwise occupied. I could probably sneak right past any genin though (1).

My memories and sneaking abilities helped a lot in my training, but my Tou-san helped even more. He was proud of my progress and wanted me to be the most powerful, so he had me do as much as I could at this age, which led me to influencing him to buy me chakra paper. It's amazing what power children hold over adults.

My power only seemed to work on my parents though. I had tried it a bit on the weakest link of the Kumo team that tried to capture me, and when that didn't work, I simply kicked him where the sun don't shine then ran like heck, chucking random heavy things I saw at them as I scrambled away, hollering at the top of my lungs. I was saved quickly, but that moment where I was getting tired, the chakra I put to the soles of my feet was running out, and they were gaining on me still made my skin crawl.

This time, unlike Hinata would, I savored the time I had with my Kaa-san, and most likely, spent 50% more time with her than Hinata did. I knew she would die birthing Hanabi, and it would hurt more when she died, but my Kaa-san was genuinely a good person and fun to be around. After I perfected a move, she would take me out for food wherever I wanted. I usually went to Ichiraku ramen and sat next to Naruto so he would know me somewhat before the academy.

He was only 5 at the time, but still was an avid prankster. When Kaa-san wasn't looking, I'd pass him notes with my prank ideas on them to him. I waited 'till I had spare time and came with him on our 'missions'. These times, I had him hide out in my small fort in the Hyuuga grounds. They couldn't touch us there.

That year, Kaa-san died and Hanabi was born. The funeral we held was a small, solemn affair where my mother was cremated and a small sermon was held. It was simple, and Kaa-san liked things simple. But now that Kaa-san's gone, nothing is simple anymore.

**A/N: (1): I am actually pretty good at sneaking around like that. The thing was, I used to use that talent to sneak candy when my mom wasn't looking. She found my wrapper 'collection' (as I told her) but she didn't know that I still did it when I needed a sugar fix. She also noticed when my tongue was blue, but that's a different matter.**

**I'm going by them starting the academy at 6, 3 yrs at the academy, genin at 9, chunin exams at 10, 3 year break 'till shippuden, 14 at 4th shinobi war.**

**This is only the prologue. The chapters (probably, if I have time) will get longer.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Playing The Genius**

**Sorry for not updating! I was busy with getting my mom off my back wanting to make me go shopping, or other horrors. I only just got away, but she's formulating a plan, so this may be short. If you are reading this, please review. If you have time to read this you have enough time to type a short message. Truthfully, I'm writing this in the short 5-10 minute periods I have, so don't harp on me about it. Well actually, you can if you bother to review. **

Tou-san had gotten colder, stricter in the past few months after Kaa-san's death. I could see now why Hinata and Hanabi had turned out that way, but I'm not going to let that happen to my little sister. Maybe it's because I always wanted a little sibling, but I feel fiercely overprotective of her.

Deciding that we all needed some motherly spirit back in the house was easy. Becoming determined to do everything Kaa-san did was relatively easy as well. The hard part was actually doing it all.

In my petite five-year old body, I couldn't reach anything high up when cooking, and I didn't know how to handle a baby. Luck was on my side though, because Tou-san had a branch member help out by taking care of the baby. She didn't mind when I asked for help cooking, and she even gave me some recipes to try. I only recently got her to call me Hinata-san instead of Hinata-hime, but she was careful enough not to say it when others were near.

Naomi, the woman who was helping us out, took me to met her son. Agreeing, I had gone with her, and found myself face to face with a little Neji. He was quite bitter, and I assumed that it was because his father had already died. I hadn't paid much attention to the gossip that went around, and I guess I have to pay for that now.

I did my best to cheer him up in the only way I knew. Slapping some sense into him (quite literally), disregarding everything he thought he knew, and told him to get on his feet and man up. The part about manning up angered him a bit, because I called him 'ponytail man', but it was worth it.

Neji had been my other source of info because I can't read history books without getting pissed off and slamming the book shut. Therefore, Neji became my history teacher.

I took it upon myself to teach him any techniques I had learned that he would have had to reverse-engineer in canon. Most were the more simple stuff, because even a main branch 'prodigy' wasn't allowed the better ones 'till they made genin at least. Foo.

It stayed this way until I was of age to be in the academy. It was quite boring actually. Neji had drilled all the answers into my head (he was still a hard-ass, even after my 'comforting'. Wow.), and they never even taught us to mold chakra. So when we're genins, we just have to automatically know how to do something we were never taught? And face off in the chunin exams as well? If you weren't from a clan, you had almost no chance at even getting into them. That was sad. I even brought it up with the Hokage and he seemed to share my worry.

The only thing other than that was when I tried to help Naruto get control over his massive chakra reserves. I didn't know what to do with it. I went to the Hokage with my problem, and he was able to whip up a modified chakra storing seal, that was kind of like Tsunade's, but he put the excess chakra in there instead. He still had to train without it, but it was easier for him now.

I had tried to convert Sakura and Ino to non-fangirlish ways, but that failed for Sakura. But then again, Sakura never stopped fangirling over Sasuke even _after_ he betrayed Konoha, went to Orochimaru's side, killed Orochmaru, joined the Akatsuki, and tried to burn down Konoha. She probably was the only fangirl not to declare him a lost cause and move on. That showed a lot of devotion, sure, but also was a sure-fire way to get sent to a mental hospital raving about how your true love would save you.

I am happy to say that I have only displayed such fangirlish tendencies when I see, say, yaoi and mine are (almost) always for pairings, not myself. That didn't mean I couldn't check out a hot guy! Well, not one of Hinata's age. I'm not a pedophile! If you add how old I was when I died to Hinata's age, you get around 16 years of age. It's too bad all the cute - I mean handsome - guys were almost all over 20 years old. What's worse, is that they all think I'm 5 years old. Foo.

Off of that topic, Ino was getting better. I was lucky that I stopped this early. Ino started to take her training more seriously, and didn't start to bother with diets or makeup. I shudder to think of 5-year-olds wearing makeup. Or anyone if they don't do it well enough.

Me and Naruto came to a system where I would teach him things, and in return, he wold show me or help me make prank jutsus. Together we modified the sexy-no-jutsu into one that actually had clothes and looked a bit different so he could buy things without people ripping him off. I made sure to tell him the dangers of doing that technique, and to only do it during a fight if he really needed to gain the upper hand and to dispel it quickly after. I made sure he could protect himself if he had to do that though.

And now I'm rambling. Sorry. Right now we are in the middle of the second practical part of the academy exams. I made sure that if Naruto passed or didn't pass, The scroll would be defended by me and Naruto, or would be copied upon being stolen. Either way, it would work out.

The exams ended, leaving me with a hi-ate and Naruto with a bruised ego. I hid for a bit untill Mizuki was gone, then went with Naruto to grab the scroll. Instead of blundering around like he had, I brought a rock with me, set it down, replaced myself with the scroll, and again replaced myself with the rock. I got out of there with a scroll and without a pebble. Simple as that.

We copied down all the jutsu as fast as we could after Naruto learned the Kage Bunshin. It certainly helped to have nineteen others copying as well. When Iruka came, which was quite later than I had expected, (Had they not seen that the scroll was missing for a longer time?) we were already done copying. I let him lecture us and Naruto did his little oblivious explanation. Mizuki came by, got beaten up by us much quicker than in canon, blah de blah. I managed to slip away unnoticed after telling Iruka to leave me out of the explanation he gave the Hokage or anyone else because ' The Hyuuga clan can, and will be... unreasonable when it comes to their heiress. If they catch wind of this, they may try making me into the perfect little girl. That's not me. I don't want Hanabi subjected to that either.'

That was actually mostly true, but I was also worried about the council. They only allowed Naruto to become a shinobi because The Hokage allowed it. If I was there, they would heap all the creddit on me, instead and dismiss the Hokage. That couldn't, and wouldn't happen now.

**A/N: I know, it wasn't much longer than the other chapter, but I'm trying! The next chapter may just be a collection of plot bunnies that I couldn't write in. Truthfully, I could have, but I am shit at focusing on doing this. I just want to get the chapters over with. Oh, and thank you, LostName for reviewing. Anyone else want to?**

**Salutations,**

**Moron the first**


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